Album Review: Zoanoids by Zoanoids (by Marcus Pond)

Is there a better way to start the first week of 2021 than by finding a new band releasing their debut album? After 2020, it’s hard to ask for anything more, and I was fortunate to make Zoanoids my first CPRW review of the year.

Honestly, I almost skipped over their record while perusing Bandcamp because… I don’t know, the black and white zombie-looking face outline with oozing font didn’t seem like it’d be quite my thing. But, I pressed play, and then pressed play again, and then kept listening until I decided I had to own it on vinyl.

A four-piece out of Kalamazoo, Michigan, Zoanoids are a self-described “horror and sci-fi Ramonescore band” that put out a demo in 2019 and released a few singles in 2020 leading up to their eponymous debut on Hey Pizza! Records. As a person that hates horror movies (of all the emotions to feel, why would you want to feel horror?) and is pretty indifferent to most Ramonescore bands, they still have a lot to offer (and if you do like those things, you’ll likely dig this).

The LP begins with “Teenage Werewolf”, a jam that they also released a music video for back in October. I’ll have to wait to see if the vinyl comes with a lyrics sheet, but even though I don’t know all the words to it yet, I had the line “I don’t wanna be a teenage werewolf” stuck in my head the rest of the day after hearing it. I admit I can get a little judgy about opening tracks, but this is a great start to the record.

Two of my favorite songs on the first side had some unfamiliar names, so I had to look to the Internet for some answers. I’m not totally sure that I’ve gotten these correctly, but from what I can tell, Ahriman (“Arms of Ahriman”) is the evil, destructive spirit in Zoroastrianism, an ancient pre-Islamic religion of ancient Persia. Biollante (“Biollante’s Revenge”) is a giant monster (or kaiju) from the 1989 film Godzilla vs. Biollante. The plot seems weird and makes me want to see it. Both of these tunes have a cryptic, ominous vibe to them that I really dig, and showcase not just stellar songwriting, but the vocalist’s ability to actually sing while maintaining a voice that fits great in the genre.

“Time of Judgement” is also a banger, “Dos Fuertes” is a frenetic instrumental, and “Michigan” is a not-so-complimentary ode to their home state. Zoanoids are also able to mix it up, with “Overlord” on the second side as a breezy, almost ballad that changes the tempo a bit, before plummeting back into chaos on “Directive: Solbrain”.

Overall, it’s 13 tracks in 27 minutes, with only two tunes passing the two and a half minute mark, and it’s a record that I found myself listening to front to back, and then front to back again. Sometimes I felt like the friend in the group who is kind of chuckling along at all the references the group is making without actually knowing what they all mean, but it’s a party and I’m sure I’ll figure them out later.

RIYL: Ramonescore, Teenage Bottlerocket, Dark Thoughts, The Lillingtons, The Dumbheads, Radio Buzzkills, Houseghost, zombie apocalypses

Stream and download Zoanoids on Bandcamp here.

Like Zoanoids on Facebook here.

This review was written by Marcus Pond.