In 1984, Poison Idea released an EP called Record Collectors Are Pretentious Assholes, the joke being that the cover features a picture of the band's singer Jerry A's own, vast record collection. According to Discogs, there are 19 versions of this seminal hardcore punk record and the band have released over a dozen albums and countless EPs and singles on vinyl since then including last year's latest, The Beast Goes East. It's facts like these that I truly love.
I first started collecting records when I was a kid, sometime after Poison Idea had warned me about my possible pretentiousness. I vividly remember buying Tranzophobia by Mega City Four on CD at the local record shop, only to have instant buyer's regret before taking it back the following day to exchange for a vinyl copy.
From then on, it was vinyl all the way. I wasn't bothered about how seemingly easy it was to scratch the record and tear the sleeve. I wasn't bothered about the supposedly better sound quality and undeniable convenience CDs had. I wasn't even particularly bothered about hissing, crackles or pops – as John Peel put it "somebody was trying to tell me that CDs are better than vinyl because they don't have any surface noise. I said, 'Listen, mate, life has surface noise.'"
Vinyl had a tactile quality to it that I loved and the physical size was perfect for pouring over sleeve notes which thanked other bands – vital in a pre-Internet age for discovering new artists, because, after all, not even John Peel could play everything; the NME and Melody Maker were often overly grunge and then Britpop focused and even fanzines were often too UK-centric for my increasingly punk tastes. If you bought something on SST, Cruz, Alternative Tentacles, Lookout Records et al, the sleeve notes would always enable you to discover your next favourite band.
But that's not to say I don't own any CDs. Of course I do. Pre-ipod/smartphone etc they were great for travelling/commuting etc, took up far less space which when I was younger was useful, and there are some albums that were simply never released on vinyl, some of which I'll obviously come onto.
My golden rules when buying records are: That I don't collect variants – the only duplicate copies I have are when I've mistakenly bought the same record twice! I try to buy either directly from bands or labels. I never buy a record as an "investment" – every single record I've bought is because I like (or thought I would like) the music and I've never paid more than £30 for a record.
Following these rules means that, over the years, the number has steadily grown. I've got a reasonable sized collection – not what I would call out of hand – but it's a few thousand albums and large enough that I now concede to my family that if it gets much bigger there really won't be anymore room for them. If and when that happens, I'll have to enter the horror chamber hell of selling some on Discogs. The annoying vinyl plant pressing delays have helped a lot with reducing my consumption this last year, but any vinyl collector will tell you it's a really hard habit to cut down on.
Anyway, I think that's enough of a preamble, although I must state a disclaimer here. These aren't records that are rare and therefore I wished I owned on vinyl. This is a list of albums that I *think* have never been pressed on vinyl, however I stand to be corrected. I've Googled them and can't find any reference to vinyl pressings and Discogs doesn't list any of them either, but the Internet is not always the Oracle on everything so if I've made a mistake, sorry (and also let me know if you have a copy for sale).
Finally, the list isn't in any particular order and having complied it I've realised that 1) a helluva lot of albums I thought were never on vinyl, actually have been at some point and as such 2) the list is very specific to me, my tastes and probably my age, which means a number of the bands on the list might be new to you. If this is the case, I urge you to check them out. After all, for me that's the beauty of CPRW. I was never going to tell you about the Bad Religion or NOFX album that's a classic but was only ever released on cassette (there isn't one). It was always going to be heavy on smaller and DIY bands that are brilliant, but might only be best known for supporting Jawbreaker or Green Day in front of 50 people at gig in the early 90s.
Alcohol Funnycar – Time To Make The Donuts
Formed in Seattle in the early 90s at a time when the city was exploding with successful grunge bands like Mudhoney, Pearl Jam, Nirvana et al, the 1993 debut from Alcohol Funnycar didn't quite fit the city's persona. It's melodic pop-punk. Hüsker Dü meets Dinosaur Jr is how I always describe them and this was released on C/Z Records. It was followed up two years later by another CD only album (Weasels), and I assume they then broke up. I always maintain that if they'd hung on for just a bit longer, their style of punk would become much more popular and they'd almost certainly have had a better shot at success. When it was released, this CD album somehow made its way over here because I remember buying it at Selectadisc in Soho and, if I can still remember where and when I brought an album from that long ago, it tells me it has to be pretty damn good.
All Systems Go – All Systems Go!
All Systems Go were a Canadian punk "supergroup," formed in the late 90s by members of Big Drill Car, the Doughboys and the Asexuals after those bands split. Later on, alumni would also also include members of the Descendents and The Carnations. This self-titled album was their debut, released in 1999 on Coldfront Records. It was followed up three years later with the album Mon Chi Chi, but after a number of line up changes they didn't put out any subsequent albums. The pedigree is there, but like a lot of supergroups they never really hit the heights. However, this is a fun melodic punk album that I've picked for this list not least because I could never get enough of Big Drill Car and occasionally when I wish Big Drill Car had done more, I'd like to be able to spin All Systems Go to scratch that melodic 90s itch.
The Tim Version – Creating Forces That Don't Exist
A hugely underrated band! Floridian and Fest stalwarts, it's harmonic, gruff punk with a sound that is very typical of Gainesville/No Idea Records etc. They've released four albums over the years, but Creating Forces That Don't Exist was their first release in 2000, on ADD Records on CD. It's not on Spotify or Apple Music, so you should head to Bandcamp to check it out. After a couple of decades, the band are still together, but because they haven't been that prolific I don't spin them as much as I'd like. Having this on vinyl would give me a great fourth option.
Deforesters – Leonard
A recent release. Anthemic, singalong, hook-laden, super catchy bangers from start to finish – this was my album of the year in 2017. Canadian punks from Toronto, this was the only album they put out and I don't even think it came out on CD, so you'll have to listen online if you want to hear it. If you like those bands like Timeshares, Banner Pilot, Arms Aloft etc. who have albums stacked with quite similar sounding songs, but all of which are absolute bangers, this is for you. The band split when their guitarist left shortly after the album's release, but the phoenix from those ashes are the band Lizard Queens featuring former members who I think are currently recording an album. Hopefully that one will get a vinyl pressing.
Billy No Mates – We Are Legion
Duncan Edmonds is a legend of the British punk scene. Best known as the heart and soul of Snuff, but active throughout the last 30 years with numerous bands, Billy No Mates is his solo project where he recorded everything by himself (hence the band's name). We Are Legion is the debut album put out by 10 Past 12 Records, the label that released numerous Snuff records, but they didn't give this a vinyl release. It's got a very Snuff-esque feel to it, which, for me, is a great thing – such is my love for this sort of melodic British punk. Another of the albums, SF Sourdough, got a vinyl release last year so I still hold out a bit of hope that one day this will be pressed, but for now I'm listening to this on YouTube in the absence of a copy on CD.
Small Arms Dealer – A Single Unifying Theory
This was the first of two CD albums released by the band in 2006 and then 2007 (the later being the Patron Saint Of Disappointment and which could also easily be on this list), both released on Deep Elm Records. From Long Island, NY, and a precursor to Iron Chic (Jason Lubrano was the vocalist for both) there's definitely an Iron Chic/Wax Phantom/Latterman vibe to them, but you can also liken them to Hot Water Music, Dillinger Four and Smoke Or Fire. The description on the release's Bandcamp page says it best – "they play with the frenzied desperation of a band with one foot in the grave, and the vitriol that spews from vocalist Jason Lubrano, combined with the guns-blazing, take-no-prisoners attack of the guitars and rhythm section, blows the fucking lid off the proverbial rock 'n' roll coffin."
Sinkhole – Groping For Trout
Fast, melodic, catchy 90s skate-punk from Boston. Groping For Trout was the first of three albums for this band, but the only one to miss out on a vinyl release. It comes close to being Ramonescore in places but it doesn't meet that formula fully. Drummer Chris Pierce went on to play for a tonne of other bands including Doc Hopper, Drag The River, The Ergs and The Measure [sa].
China Drum – Diskin
Strictly speaking this album was by The Drum – the name that China Drum renamed themselves towards the end. The band were around throughout the entirety of 90s, plus an overlap at either end of the decade, although they only released three albums. Diskin is the last of these and was put out by Mantra Records on CD in 2000. China Drum were a UK based melodic punk band from the north east, drawing early comparisons with their local cousins Leatherface, but this album marked a different type of sound for the band and, as such, it's not up there with their brilliant Goose Fair or the follow up Self Made Maniac. Perhaps that's why they dropped the "China" bit from their name to mark a shift in style as this is more alternative rock with electronic and guitar feedback elements thrown in, some way off their punkier roots. I wouldn't buy this album now, but I'd love to have this as a vinyl release if only to complete my China Drum set.
Enemy You – Stories Never Told
A band that I consider to be pretty seminal, I'll always associate them with Red Scare Industries who put this out. It's the second of their two albums and was one of the label's very early releases. Maybe it was because the label was in its infancy that at the time in 2004 it only got a CD release, but I'm still hopeful that this fast, melodic, skate punk-ish cult classic will eventually get a vinyl pressing. In the meantime, if you want an Enemy You fix on vinyl, checkout Can Anybody Hear Me? (A Tribute to Enemy You) by The Lillingtons and put out by Red Scare last year. Alternatively, there's some joker on Discogs who wants £1,700 for their only other album – Where No One Knows My Name, released on vinyl by Lookout Records in 2000.
Articles – Better Than Me
I've selected my final pick not just because it's the most recent, but always because it's banger. One of my favourite releases from last year, I don't think Articles released either CDs or vinyl copies of this album. A very DIY punk band – the type of which I love – and a band from Gainesville playing raspy, gruff punk complete with gang vocals. It's only seven songs long, but I'd love to see those seven pressed on vinyl.
This top ten was written by Chris Bishton aka Vinyl Systems on Instagram.
